very slow, very small, very stupid

you deserve better. why wouldn't you? who's keeping it from you?

bon-reves:

Someone was a cuddly fucker last night.
View high resolution

bon-reves:

Someone was a cuddly fucker last night.

i watched that video and i didn’t really like it and i didn’t like the song very much either

woodmeat:

boy listen me right na
i will break nicki minaj. i will put her in my mouth and bend her in half like dirty ass wild west coal miners use ta do when you give them a quarter. ill make her run to all 4 corners of the bed from it. i will blow her back out, and wheel her to physical therapy.

woodmeat:

boy listen me right na

i will break nicki minaj. i will put her in my mouth and bend her in half like dirty ass wild west coal miners use ta do when you give them a quarter. ill make her run to all 4 corners of the bed from it. i will blow her back out, and wheel her to physical therapy.

(via yeezusplease)

Q
I am a conscientious consumer, I let nothing go to waste *eats an avocado, wears the peel as a hat and sticks the core up my butt*
A

melteddali:

image

I know what I’m going to illegally stream tonight

A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decisions made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian.”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now.”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of The Origin of Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

[mid-20s vegan voice] there’s no excuse for an unethical diet *bites into a dole banana*

6,362 Plays
cool spawn bro

ceasepool:

???? when the FUCK does he say this?

(Source: rindre)

micdotcom:

Vile photos show the crisis at the U.S.-Mexico border no one is talking about

With a spate of huge stories breaking in the past few weeks, you might not have caught the massive environmental crisis in northern Mexico that began earlier in August.

According to the Associated Press, local politicians claim that Grupo Mexico, a private mining company in Sonora with a troubling track record of hazardous waste violations in Mexico and the U.S., was slow to report a disastrous fault in its leaching ponds, which hold industrial acid used in the mining process. The spill released around 10 million gallons of acid into the Bacanuchi and Sonora Rivers.

20,000 people were without water | Follow micdotcom 

(via moonuncle)

emogod420:

this took me a full 20 minutes like
i thought about this in the shower
View high resolution

emogod420:

this took me a full 20 minutes like

i thought about this in the shower

(Source: bumtickley, via zenpod)

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